If you speak English, you probably think you speak the same language as everyone else who speaks English.
Unfortunately, you don’t.
Everyone has their own unique language, and words can mean different things to different people. We define things based on our passions, our culture, our education, and our experiences. If you want to have a good conversation with someone, especially a conversation of depth, it is essential that you clarify the meaning of your words.
This was one of the first lessons I learned in my college Philosophy classes. Too many heated arguments occur between people who actually agree, but they simply do not understand each other. They never get on the same page, and they speak right past each other and continually get more and more frustrated.
Examples of Potential Misunderstandings:
Words can sometimes be confusing
1) “Go Dawgs!” I am a UGA fan. When I say “go dawgs” to another UGA fan, it inspires hope. When I say it to a Georgia Tech fan, it inspires fear and bitterness. When I say it to someone from England, they think I love pets.
2)Bad: The classic use, of course, means bad. Somewhere along the way, most likely in the 80′s, “bad” began to mean cool or good. Now, it is back to just meaning bad.
3) Christian: The word Christian means something different to everyone. Some people think Christian means “good person,” others think ”Jesus follower,” still others think it means “pornographer” or “murderer.” Before asking someone to become a Christian, you better understand what the word means to them before you ask them. Otherwise, you could end up having a very awkward conversation.
How to avoid unnecessarily negative conversations:
1) Listen to people first: Learn about who they are, and what experiences have influenced their understanding of the world.
2) Ask for clarity: For some reason, when I do not understand something, I am afraid to ask for clarity. It’s probably due to some insecurity of mine, but this is dumb and not polite. If you need clarity on something someone says, ask them! It will show them that you are listening.
3) Explain what you mean: If you are talking about something, especially if it is controversial, make sure you explain exactly what you mean. Since you have already listened to their story, you could even speak in their terms. Otherwise, you might make someone mad and not even realize it.
4) Have important conversations in person: Too much meaning is lost over the phone, through e-mail, and especially while texting. If something is important, talk with the other in person.
Your Turn: Have you ever experienced miscommunications? Share them!
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